A case of the Icks

The 'Icks' is that moment when you are on a first date with a guy and he does/says/wears something which makes you a tiny bit sick in your mouth. It is not a scientific term but I think it describes the moment perfectly.

We have all been there, you met a seemingly nice guy and decided to go for some drinks, it is all going so well and then he sneezes in your face or talks about himself in the third person. You feel that glass of pinot grigio start to creep back up your throat and you look around for your nearest point of escape. Those are the 'Icks.'

Of course the 'Icks' are not the same for everyone, it is horses for courses after all but let me tell you the story of one of the first dates that I ever went on. Back then at the tender age of 18, (yes I was a late starter) I didn't understand this whole dating malarkey and was painfully polite to everyone even if they didn't deserve it. 

Before I start, I see this as a coming of age date that taught me to be the woman that I am today. Without this painfully awful and 'Ick' filled story I would still be going out with guys that did not deserve the time of day.

So, I had met him at a club and we decided to go for a couple of drinks the following week. He seemed quite normal and I was rather excited. I put on my pretty dress and asked where he wanted to meet, he suggested O'Neils; the old man pub where everything is served in pint form. Although this was the first 'Ick' moment I politely obliged.

When I turned up he was wearing a football shirt and reading a science fiction novel (2nd 'Ick' point) but he offered to get me a drink so I smiled nicely. During our conversation he decided to tell me that he ate a live goldfish once, (3rd 'Ick' point) he then proceeded to tell me that he was sick of girls that expect to be treated like princesses and think guys should do everything for them. He proclaimed that if I was lucky enough to go out with him then I shouldn't expect that at all (4th 'Ick' point.)

And it doesn't finish there, he then told me it was my round because he only takes five pounds out on dates with him so the girl has to pay the rest (can't even count how many 'Ick' points that is now.) Next he pointed at the freckles on my arms and said 'God you have a lot of those, it's not that I dislike them....' and the final blow was that he jumped in my taxi home, asked the driver to take the long route back to my house so we could drop him off and then didn't offer any money towards it (of course he only had a fiver though!)

He then asked if I would like to see him again, my Ickometer by that time had blown up and I shut the taxi door in his face and told the driver to step on it. Needless to say that after that trauma I am more selective about who I date, however you can never be sure how someone is going to turn out. Sometimes they just slip through the net so listen to your gut, if you have an 'Ick' moment he probably isn't going to be right for you.

Here are a couple more moments which happened even after I had learnt my lesson:

• The guy who refused to talk to me for the first 15 minutes when we met up because he was digesting his food???
• The guy who told me he kicked pigeons
• The guy who called me Babbie after 1 date
• The guy who invited me to a wedding in Africa after 1 date
• The guy with the intense eye contact who kept moving closer as I backed away
• The white middle class guy who thought he was gangster (you can't be gangster if you live with your parents. FACT!)

Tweet me @abbiecoles and share your 'Ick' moments.

The Game: Who is keeping score anyway?

I have decided to tackle the frankly confusing topic of men and relationships because of a recent resolution that I made; yes I have decided to stay single for a year. This may sound rather dramatic and perhaps a tad peculiar but I have my reasons. 
I am not going to start man bashing, this isn't 'Loose Women' and to be honest I have never been in a bad relationship it has usually just been a case of timing. So I have come to this decision based on the fact that I have not been properly single for around 5 years. A lot has changed in these years and I feel having just graduated that perhaps it is time to focus on my life rather than how I fit into someone elses. 
It may sound a bit selfish but I think that in your early twenties with no responsibilities is the perfect time to be selfish. 
I'm not adverse to the idea of dating over the year, I'm just not into the whole serious boyfriend/girlfriend thing. Personally I am more in the hanging out and having a laugh stage so the resolution is my way of not letting myself slip into something I am not ready for. Of course it is different for everyone, some of my best friends are in fantastic relationships and I couldn't be happier for them but I am just not at that point yet.
Men is a topic that comes up time and time again when talking with my friends, in fact I have just received a message from one asking how long they should leave before texting a guy back. The problem is the 'Rules', the unspoken law of meeting someone new. Of course you can't tell someone if you like them, don't be absurd, instead you must trick them into telling you how they feel first. God forbid that someone finds out that you fancy them, nope it is much more sensible to pretend you don't care. Where does it end though? Surely it would be a lot simpler if we actually said what we were thinking rather than orchestrating this extreme facade.
See I never really got the whole 'Game' thing, if I like a guy I will tell him because life is short, much too short to wonder why he only left one kiss at the end of his text instead of the usual two or why he is wearing that jumper that his ex gave him. A lot of the frustration that girls feel is the fact that they don't know where they stand,well if you ask directly then there is only one of two answers and it takes a lot less time. 
I may revisit this subject in the future but for now this is my two cents.

Any comments or questions, tweet me @abbiecoles